Aspie Burnout and Coping Mechanisms
Burnout and fatigue are getting more common today.
People are constantly connected (and distracted) by various digital devices, social media, and chat apps on their mobile phones, laptops, tablets....sometimes several tablets and several phones.
Remember landline telephones? If you wanted peace and quiet, to not be disturbed, you could simply unplug it. You could leave home, and be uncontactable and undisturbed.
Then comes the never-ending email inbox, the gift that keeps on giving.
And of course, the world of social media. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Snapchat, and YouTube. Not to forget text messaging, WhatsApp, Telegram, and endless DM’s where anyone, from anywhere, can directly message you about anything (God save me).
Remember when people sent you letters and you would take your time to pour your heart out and mail it two weeks later, and wait another two weeks for a response, giving you plenty of downtime in between?
Just listing this has already drained 90% of my brain's energy... but I must finish this blog.
I used to wonder how anyone can keep up with checking and clearing up all these messages, everywhere, every single day? Just checking and responding once a day would already take the whole day. Forget about eating, exercising, sleeping, and doing real work.
In the city, lights are constantly on everywhere. Restaurants, bars, and stores are open till late. Television is now 24/7, including the news. People are sleeping less than ever, and that’s if they even wanted to sleep. It’s like the sun never sets.
There is also the endless noise surrounding us, especially if we live in the city. Traffic, crowds, blaring music, ambulance sirens, and background music in every building and parking lot. Even the beach and hiking trails are more frequently filled with Bluetooth speakers.
It’s no wonder we are so burnt out...
But there is another layer on top of all this.
As someone with Aspergers , we experience all our senses in high definition. Visuals, lights, sounds, smells, textures, temperature changes...and constant human communication, which we all tend to dislike. Too complicated, too confusing, too many feelings.
It is no surprise that experiencing burnout and fatigue is extremely common among autistics. It may not be commonly discussed, but that’s only because it has become a "way of life" for us.
I constantly try to "push myself through" this meeting or that schedule or some appointment. Gritting my teeth through small talk (thank God for face masks).
For autistics, this is a constant grind that we never seem to be able to escape from, and we wonder when it will ever end. This is why many of us need plenty of naps, cry uncontrollably, become fiercely upset, go through meltdowns, and choose to be a hermit.
Believe me, I have gone through it all, including overcoming adrenal insufficiency, which left me to be bedridden for several years.
The constant sensory overload, the need to mask, suffering through draining social interactions, all the things that are considered “normal” eventually become too much, and we break down. This is autistic burnout. Have you experienced this? It can go on for years and get progressively worse if we don’t make accommodations for our needs.
So here are some of my tips on coping with burnout and fatigue as an autistic:
Create a living environment that is suitable for your needs. Do not compromise on this. It will wear you out. If you need a quiet/silent place, a place where there are not many humans around, a place where you feel at peace, then give that to yourself.
Stop masking as much as possible. Only be around people who accept you as your autistic self. If you are unable to do this in certain situations right now, come up with a plan for how you can avoid this in the future.
Schedule quiet, alone time for yourself. Be clear with the people around you that you need this and communicate it directly and literally. For example, if you plan to go to the beach or hiking with your partner, let him/her know that you need some alone time and walk ahead/stay behind on your own if that’s what you need.
Streamline your communication process. I do not text, call, or use messaging apps. My phone is turned off all the time. My voicemail message tells people to email me. I forward all communication to email and only call/video call when a discussion or meeting is needed. Meeting in person is preferred for close friends as digital devices drain me. Do what works for you.
Set time aside to unplug completely at the end of the day and on weekends.
If you are sensitive to EMF, try your best to EMF proof your home as much as possible and stay away from cell towers/5G, etc. I turn off my Wi-Fi, microwave, phones, tablets, and digital devices each night before I go to bed. I can feel a huge difference in my energy when I wake up if these are not turned off.
Schedule your week in advance, based on your sensory needs. Make sure you have enough downtime and that things are spread out in batches as much as possible. For example, I do all my meetings on Monday mornings and phone calls during lunchtime.
Experiment and figure out what is best for you. When you can function at your best, you are better able to contribute to the world and everyone around you with your unique talents and gifts, rather than constantly feeling drained and fatigued by trying to fit into social norms.
You are here to contribute your talent to the fullest! Go do it!